


when the night comes, we fall

by byeoliyagi (a_k223)



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-07 05:49:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19203169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_k223/pseuds/byeoliyagi
Summary: They have been working perfectly well together, matched well with each other’s trait. Over the years, Hakyeon knows how to lessen his affection at least on public, and Hongbin learns how words of support sometimes needed to be said. But when Hakyeon doesn’t know what to say anymore, when Hongbin doesn’t know what he could do anymore, their world collapsed.





	when the night comes, we fall

 

And when the night comes, the two of them fall too deep into their feelings, swarmed into moment of loneliness and regret.

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

It is another new day, still with another same set of activity, the realization dawned right the moment Hongbin’s soul comes into life, as the sun was already rising high above the dorm. He doesn’t get to do much nowadays, aside maintaining practice for his singing and dancing to not be buried under time of hiatus of the group, and the exercises. Hongbin doesn’t really love working out, at least not as much as his same age buddy, although more than the group resident cat. But, he loves the sensation of high adrenaline built up, when his body gets too tired to think anything else than screaming tiredness and soreness all over. And, he needs that now more than ever, more than he would ever willing to admit. That was Hongbin’s day.

In the other place, when the moon is still up and the sun still waits for her turn, voices of steps and loud yells could be heard, the smell of man is filling the dawn. Someone could be seen with the warmest smile in the world, encouraging his fellow comrades, lifting their spirit up with his little fists, most likely the only one has such energy on that early morning. The command has been given, and they start their usual day of training, which frankly, doesn’t really matter since they will only be working alongside people and not the war. Next schedule will be the practice, which will be the most favorite part of the day, Hakyeon is not going to lie. But beforehand, breakfast will be served, and right after the endless routine will going to take place. That was Hakyeon’s day.

 

It is night in the dorm. Hongbin closed the stream, turned off his computer, and went straight to the bed. He is physically tired from the working out, he is mentally tired from working his brain off on the broadcast, yet no, he can’t sleep. His mind is restless, the gears is still working fast, although all of them are focused on one spot, one point, one person.

It is night in the military. Hakyeon finished clean himself up, prepared the clothes for tomorrow’s schedule, and made the bed. He is physically tired from all the training, he is mentally tired from practicing and having to teach most of his comrades at times, yet no, he can’t sleep. He gets fidgety, his mind is running miles, all surrounding one place, one circle, one person.

 

Emotionally, they think of each other.

Their days are full of things, technically, but in reality, their heart feel empty, missing an important part that has been there for the whole 10 years, of friendship, of brotherhood, of groupmates, of roommates, of relationship.

 

“I should not have pushed him back..”

“I should have tried to coax him more..”

“I should have visited him more..”

“I should not have distanced myself..”

“I should have answered when he made that call..”

“I should have called him for the second time..”

 

Unknown for both of them, the wind listened to every words.

 

““I should have told him I love him.””

Jinx, said the wind.

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

Sanghyuk is ready to have a good rest on his comfortable bed, hugged by minions and mini-hyogi, after the midnight drama shooting finally ended. He opens the door, places his shoes on the neatly arranged rack, courtesy of the one and only person obsessed with cleaning in the dorm, and with few steps in he took, he hears the shouting of slightly hoarse voice of that someone.

“Ah, that hyung~ really, is he doing it again? It is 5 am for god’s sake.”. As it is decided he could not get some sleep anyway, he goes to clean himself up, and by the time he is finished, the shouting has stopped, replaced by soft voice of ending greeting.

 

“Hyung.”, Sanghyuk said as he opens the door to Hongbin’s room.

Hongbin turns to him, “Oh, Hyuk-ah, did you just arrive?”. Hongbin stretched his hand and his neck.

Sanghyuk positioned himself on the bed. “Yes. Isn’t this the longest you’ve been streaming?”

“No.. I did until 6 am once..”, Hongbin thinks, unsure. He is about to ask Sanghyuk why, but Sanghyuk cuts him off with, “Oh, when Hakyeon-hyung’s letter came?”

Hongbin’s breath stops for a moment. Sanghyuk’s serious look at him is not really helping.

“What do you mean??!”, he splutters as he regained his conscious mind telling him to breath.

Sanghyuk shakes his head. “Tsk, tsk, still stupid I see. You know, you could have gone directly to him and talk, yet here you are being all miserable, busy trying to distract your mind off with no avail.”

Hongbin is speechless, not because Sanghyuk being a brat (as usual), but because the truth of it all, because of how his mind unconsciously agrees with all of that. Sanghyuk gets up from the bed, “Well, I will sleep for few hours before the shooting again.”

Hongbin nods, still muted. Sanghyuk is about to close the door. “Hyung, talk to Hakyeon-hyung. He misses you.”. Hongbin’s eyes dilated, not moving from the place Sanghyuk was standing, boring deep into the door, until minutes after.

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

Taekwoon is glad he’s home with his parents, because at least, there are actual food waiting for him when he comes back after practice for his concert. He misses living in the dorm though, misses the children who are always playing around, and Hakyeon.

“Taekwoon-ah, hi~”, a friendly voice speaks to him soon after he rang the number.

Taekwoon sighs, relaxed, the voice brings him the much needed comfort for his exhausted mind. “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing fine obviously~! My senior praised me today because I help so much with the practice!”, Hakyeon cheerily answers, typical of him.

Taekwoon thinks back of his members. “Are the children calling you?”, he asked Hakyeon as he reminds himself to check the dorm some time soon, makes sure they’re still alive and well and not in some stupid situation.

“I talked to Jaehwan a while back, and Sanghyuk popped in to say hello. Wonshik texted me once in a while, he’s really busy these days. …”, a small sigh seeped into Taekwoon’s ears.

“Hongbin?”. Silence.

Taekwoon is getting concerned as a minute goes by with no answer. Some rustles are heard, then a sniff. “I don’t contact him, Taekwoon-ah.”. Now, he is definitely sure Hakyeon teared up.

Taekwoon presses, “Why don’t you call him?”. A minute. “He’s not busy unless sleeping and working out.”, Taekwoon continues. “Aside of his streaming days, you can call him at night, right?”. Hakyeon finally replies.

“No.”, he whimpers. Hakyeon controls his breath. “He didn’t answer me, he won’t answer me. I don’t want another rejection.”, he speaks as if he tried to sound strong, try being the keyword.

Taekwoon doesn’t get a chance to reply. “I need to go, Taekwoon-ah. Take care.”, the call ended.

Taekwoon sighs for the second time that night, this time with different meaning, tired but made his mind to drop by the dorm tomorrow. “Lee Hongbin….”

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

Knock. Knock.

Headache. Pounding freaking headache, the mind speaks as Hongbin groans his way to wake up. One day in the future he knows all the early morning sleep are going to take a toll on him, he just doesn’t think it will happen anytime soon, as in right now. Thankfully, his classes are mostly just assignments recently, so he doesn’t have to go to the university looking like he has a terrible hungover when he’s not.

Knock. Knock. The sound that interrupt his much needed sleep is back. “What?”, Hongbin muttered. The door opens.

 

“What time did you sleep this morning?”. Taekwoon doesn’t wait for the answer to sit on the chair beside the bed, crossing his arms.

Hongbin mumbled incoherently. Taekwoon is ready to do what probably will be a grumbled complaint when Hongbin clears his throat.

“You just come to check what time did I sleep?”

Taekwoon should have known it is never too early for Hongbin to put sass in his words, even though it is literally only three minutes ago since he woke up.

“I am a good hyung.”, Taekwoon answered, fully knowing his reply is completely unrelated. “Come on, take a bath. I will cook you lunch.”

 

Hongbin looks at his hyung suspiciously, knows without saying there must be something. Taekwoon is nice, but not that nice. Fortunately for Taekwoon, Hongbin’s mind has not totally working that well yet, so he just brushes the thought off, and gets up from bed. Food is the most important, his sleep-deprived brain supplies, anything else can wait.

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

The lunchtime is over, marked by the last plate Hongbin cleaned up, this time he willingly offered to do the dishes since Taekwoon cooked for both of them. Hongbin goes back to the living room, finding Taekwoon sits on the couch staring at him with an underlying meaning. Hongbin raises his brows.

Without warning the question comes, “Why don’t you call Hakyeon?”

Hongbin stops his breath, again. He is much better at getting his voice back though, for now.

“What is the problem with you all..”, Hongbin swears to pay Sanghyuk back for his tattletales.

Taekwoon is confused though. “Someone was asking you the same thing?”. Okay, maybe it is not Sanghyuk now. But who? Hongbin is even more confused.

“I talked with Hakyeon yesterday. He doesn’t say it, but he misses you. You are the only one not keeping in touch with him.”. Taekwoon is usually complimented for being direct, now is not one of that time.

Hongbin’s heart clenches, but his mouth is still closed. His eyes are wandering around, busy avoiding Taekwoon’s eyes at all cost, he feels like he can not trust his own eyes to keep the slowly rising feelings on his heart from showing up. Taekwoon exhales deeply, already dreaded the talk he will have to do although talking is not his strong suit.

“Hongbin-”, Taekwoon is cut off. “He’s lying!”, Hongbin half-screamed. Taekwoon is puzzled by the unexpected response, but he keeps his mouth shut, waiting. He doesn’t have to do the talk, it turns out. Thankfully.

Hongbin finally sits on the floor. “He didn’t call me… He doesn’t miss me.”, he hugged his knees, deflated, curled up in fetal position.

Taekwoon is utterly perplexed now. “Hakyeon said you didn’t answer, Hongbin-ah.”

Hongbin lets go of his knees real fast. “It was only one time!”, he really yells out loud now. Taekwoon groans, irritated by the ear-splitting voice he is one hundred percent sure he doesn’t deserve.

 

“Hyung…”, half asleep Sanghyuk appears, most likely awaken because of Hongbin’s unneeded, unnecessary scream.

Taekwoon turns to look at Sanghyuk, a soft, small smile automatically appears on his face. “Hyuk-ah.”, he greets as he pats the seat beside him on the couch, Sanghyuk buries himself on Taekwoon’s chest, half-hugging him. Hongbin turns his head quickly, the display of skinship and the whole image painfully reminds him of someone.

Taekwoon talks in gentle whispers, and Sanghyuk murmurs in replies. Hongbin makes his way to get up, clear to him the conversation is over. “No, hyung, sit.”, Sanghyuk says, as Taekwoon is the one who gets up, going to the kitchen. Hongbin stares at Sanghyuk unblinking.

“Taekwoon-hyung told me..”, Hongbin makes sure his sigh is audible as he stops staring. “Why do you just wait for Hakyeon-hyung to call?”

Hongbin is silent for the nth time. In actuality, he doesn’t really know why. He has not given it much thought, has always hated everything related to feelings, steels clear from anything complicated.

“Look, hyung, it is a blessing enough that Hakyeon-hyung has his phone at night, why are you acting like this?”, Sanghyuk sounds really frustrated. He really is, frustrated. Hongbin still needs time to process a reply for that.

Sanghyuk’s eyes wanders. “Taekwoon-hyung might not be able to do the same, you know…”, he speaks quietly, eyes not leaving the kitchen. Hongbin’s eyes are focused at Sanghyuk at that.

“You should be thankful, don’t be stubborn and behaving like a spoiled child.”, Sanghyuk fixes his gaze at Hongbin this time. Hongbin looks away, uncomfortable.

Taekwoon comes to the room with the remaining food he cooked before, heated up for Sanghyuk’s lunch. This time, Sanghyuk doesn’t stop Hongbin from retreating back to his room, followed by two pairs of eyes.

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

Jaehwan’s day have mostly been the same as before. Learning scripts, memorizing, practicing, going to places, performing, it has been the same since their last group comeback. Save for the occasional writing and composing he still needs to study for. But these days, Jaehwan feels and thinks of a new thing.

 

He is not on the dorm now, having another night practice for his upcoming musical, his eyes not leaving the clock in the wall, counting minutes. It is 10 pm!, as he hurriedly searching number on his phone, and dials.

“N-hyuuung~”, he said, cutely, obviously. A chuckle immediately follows.

“Jaehwan-ah~ how are you doing?”

Jaehwan’s head is down as he looks into his lap, a burst of feelings impended to come out. He takes a small breath. “Of course I’m gooood~ I’m on practice room now!! I have new musical lining up, you know right, hyung??”, he talks excitedly.

Hakyeon laughs now. “Yes~ of course I know!! They are treating you well, right? The actors, actresses, directors??”

Jaehwan smiles without realizing. Hakyeon is the same, as always.

“I am a good boy~ everyone love me wherever I go~”, he sings. They laugh together.

Silently, Hakyeon breathes in relief. Jaehwan has always been vocal about his sentiments yet the same time rarely talks about his deep thoughts, but listening to his voice, knowing he is able to manage well, it feels good.

“Yes, you are. Listen to your hyungs well, Jaehwan-ah. Please, don’t get them to scold you until you have to sit on your knees.”, Hakyeon replied, half truth, half playful.

A complaining whine that Hakyeon predicted comes. “I listen well!! That was only one time, and I even had my hands up on my own for thaaat!!”. A word of advice, do not set your call on full volume when you talked to Jaehwan.

Hakyeon could not see it but he could see it, the pout he is sure is in Jaehwan’s face now.

“Yes yes, I get that~ Take care of your voice, Jaehwan-ah. Remember to drink lots of water, and eats well, okay?”

Jaehwan sighs, the clock is ticking. He pushed his feelings back again.

“YES!!”, he straight out screams. Hakyeon even has to put the phone away for few seconds. “Hyung too, take care!! Don’t be too nice and adopt other dongsaengs!! I already have too many!”. Hakyeon dissolves into laughter until his eyes are disappearing.

“What too nice..”, he laughs again, “Okay, Jaehwan-ah. Good night~”.

“Good night, Hakyeon-hyung~”, the call ends with Jaehwan’s wide grins, pleased.

 

These days, Jaehwan misses Hakyeon every day. But, that’s okay, because he knows Hakyeon is always, and will always be there for him.

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

Hakyeon smiles in contentment. It is always good to have a talk with someone close to you, to be understood, to have comfort in unsaid words. He remembers when Wonshik texted him few days ago, relaying what Jaehwan didn’t directly say but expressed on the call. He misses Jaehwan too. No soldier here have the same amount, or even willing to do Jaehwan’s aegyo… Hakyeon pulls a long face.

Although all this while the soldiers have been treating him really well, it seems like the universe decided today is a good day to bring out all his longing of being around his members, Hakyeon sighs. And Hongbin…, Hakyeon swears he could feel the pain of his heart, literally. How it feels like something huge threatens to come out from the inside, from the deepest part of it, how he could picture his heart to be swollen red, seemingly ready to burst, could not handle the pressure that has been there for quite some time now.

Sometimes Hakyeon creates excuses to make him feel better, like how the limited time he has on each day to hold his phone might be a good portion of the reason. But sometimes Hakyeon also realizes, a major portion of the reason is because he is afraid. He is afraid the attitudes he gets is what he deserves. He thinks he is guilty of it. How he should not make such a big decision on his own, how he should at the very least consult about it with his members, with Hongbin.

Hongbin who has been glued on his side since the beginning. Hongbin who has always been following his lead and obeying his words well. Hongbin who Hakyeon should have known will understand…

Maybe it was really selfish of him. Who cares of what age he should move out, it is really unnecessary, a small voice of his mind speaks. Who cares about a mere place, when he could lose someone for it.

 

And with that thoughts, with the guilts, that is why…

That is the actual reason Hakyeon doesn’t call Hongbin the second time.

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

Wonshik should be focusing on writing his songs right now, his mind buzzed with ideas to polish the melody and work on some tuning, but a specific someone keeps sighing multiple times for the past hour, it starts to become really annoying.

“Yah, Lee Hongbin, what are you even doing here??”, Wonshik’s tone is still in mildly disturbed mode. The person mentioned is lying down on his couch, eyes closed with hands covering them and the face, sighing again.

Wonshik spins his chair, positioning himself right in the line straight to the couch, sharp gaze half observing half pissed. Hongbin puts his hands away, the ceiling becomes his view, signs of deep breaths being taken are showing on his moving chest.

Wonshik saves his irritated gaze for now, expression changed to a worried one. “What is it?”

A voice full of concern definitely not what he needs now, Hongbin perceives, as he feels whatever pain in his heart bubbles up, eyes starting to get wet.

“Shik-ah…,” Hongbin inhales heavily, then gets into a sitting position the same time Wonshik moves to sit in the couch. Wonshik keeps looking to the front, knowing Hongbin would condemned himself if he ever fully shows his vulnerable side in front of anyone. Hongbin is silently thankful.

“Should I apologize to Hakyeon-hyung?”, Hongbin does not beat around the bush, already mentally drained. Fifteen hours of stream could not sate his sadness anymore. He has accepted that yesterday, that it is sadness that has been clouding his mind since March, since two months ago.

Wonshik can not help but glances at Hongbin, trying to read his face. Hongbin is the sunshine in the group most of the time. He smiles a lot, laughs wholeheartedly, reacts to everything with genuine enthusiasm like a kid. Wonshik could not see that Hongbin in the face of the person beside him. It feels foreign.

“Apologize for what?”, is what Wonshik chooses to reply, since he is not sure Hongbin knows Hakyeon has been sharing stories to him.

Hongbin laughs airily at that. His eyes are obviously betraying him, as tears are falling, leaving a trail on the side of his face. “Right.. What am I even going to apologize about… I don’t even know how to start.”

No words are being said afterwards. Hongbin is busy forcing his eyes to stop, wiping the tears vehemently while his heart is having the time of her life to let it all out. Wonshik is making himself busy and excused himself to go inside the recording studio for some checking, giving the space Hongbin needs right now.

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

Hongbin has too many regrets. Hongbin has too many apologies pushed back, left unsaid. Hongbin should not left the room when Hakyeon told them about the moving out, he should have given Hakyeon a chance to explain. There were too many occurrences of Hakyeon knocking on Hongbin’s door, asked for a talk, that Hongbin pretended not to hear. Hongbin should have apologized for all of that, not masked it a week after, saying it is okay and there is no need to talk anymore, ignored the glumness on Hakyeon’s face while hearing that.

Hongbin should have been there when Hakyeon moved out, when all the members were giving gifts and hugs one by one, not running away with an excuse of meeting his friend, which is honestly, also a lie. Hongbin should have visited Hakyeon more, had known what comes near after, not distanced himself, Hakyeon’s messages and calls left unread and missed in purpose. Hongbin should have stayed still by Hakyeon’s side, because he knows how much Hakyeon silently relied on him a lot to always back up every decisions, being the one who knows each other first, close to each other before any other trainees, before any other members, before there is the group.

Except the last dinner the group had together that he got through with a cover in his face and false show in his voice, Hongbin didn’t even say goodbye…

In fact, Hongbin is disappointed in himself. On how could he was throwing a tanthrum like a child while Hakyeon were leaving to be independent on his own like an adult. Hongbin could not bring himself to apologize. There are way too many things to apologize. Hongbin feels like a big disappointment. He doesn’t think he deserves to be forgiven.

 

And with that thoughts, with the regrets, that is why…

That is the actual reason Hongbin doesn’t answer Hakyeon the first time.

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

Today is May 3. Hakyeon has a busking today, and since the second he woke up he already feels excited to perform, to see his byeolbits, to be on stage, be on the eyes of people and all the things he missed. His performance yesterday didn’t reach many byeolbits audiences because the news has not been going around. But today, he can not wait to finally recognize familiar faces of his fans, to be on his elements, out and about and feels the energy from people. Hakyeon is feeling happy.

Today is May 3. Hongbin has not slept at all since his stream finished this morning, fingers busy scrolling social medias, searching for some videos, specifically, of someone. He didn’t know anything about this schedule, so by the time he knows it, most of the videos had already being taken down from the original source, driving him crazy because he hasn’t seen it all! He managed to bookmark some for later, with intention to be comfortable on his bed (and prepare his heart) first, yet now that he gets to it, he could not find half of it except for some who reuploaded the videos on their own accounts. He sort of regrets doing the stream until part 4… Because he realizes now that it is just an impending situation, this painful feelings pulling on his heart.

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

Today is May 6. Hongbin is stressed out. He likes doing broadcasts so much, to be able to communicate to his fans in a way he really enjoy, to share things he loves with byeolbits, but sometimes… There are times he is also tired. He has been trying hard to build a good mood for everyone to be able to have fun with the stream, but to continuously being asked of what to do is a little off-putting, if he is going to be honest. It is not enough that his other persona will have to be done in a way that is good to commercialize, to follow things the majority of other people asked him to do, in his own life, but now that he is happily living a new persona, people still ask things of him. He just wishes to be understood… That would be enough for him.

Today is May 6. Hakyeon is torn. He doesn’t know whether it will hurt more to not knowing anything until much later, or to know things now but not being able to do anything. Hakyeon feels helpless…

Sometimes he hopes that his members would not bother telling Hongbin’s life to him for in this kind of time, it hurts a lot. Hakyeon knows the real Hongbin, knows the idol Hongbin, knows how there are differences and sacrifices Hongbin had to put on himself for the sake of people and their opinions. Hakyeon was there when Hongbin decided to do this the first time, just to receive things Hakyeon was and is still sure Hongbin didn’t deserve. Yet now, things are still not going smoothly, and he can not do anything. He could not be there for Hongbin… And the realization that whatever thing he does right now will never be enough tears him apart like nothing else.

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

Days passed. The night comes and goes. What once a crescent moon is getting bigger, as a full moon takes the throne today, looking to two different persons in two different places. From above the sky, bolts of lights could be seen going around spiraling from one person to another like a tangled threads, representing their thoughts, the person in their mind. Some place in Seoul, one person’s light is a bright blue, youthful and calmness being his strengths, while in other place, one person’s light is a red-orange, warm and passionate being his best traits.

“Look, the bright blue and red-orange come to a full circle.”, said the moon to the star.

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

Hakyeon has been nothing but perfection during his time on the military band. He excels on doing the instruments, the training, helping his comrades, and even made few suggestions to the captain commander. For that, Hakyeon is granted a surprise one day vacation. He would be able to leave tonight, having his day off tomorrow, then go back to the military by the afternoon the day after.

 

Hongbin doesn’t know Hakyeon could have a day off, even more how Hakyeon planned to come to the dorm the morning after having the night on his parents’ house. Hongbin has been slacking off recently, mind too full of things to take care of other things such as cleaning up, as Hakyeon noted when he opened the door and walked right into the mess in which paper bags of chicken bones, empty cans of soda, ramyeon cups, and lots of water bottles.

 

Hakyeon knows how Hongbin is too deep in his mind to notice things around him at times, so he understands right away and goes picking up the litters, searching for the garbage plastic bags in the kitchen, and mops the dorm here and there, just a bit. He doesn’t hear anything for the past few minutes, so he assumes Hongbin is working out to the gym while the others are probably having schedules.

 

Hongbin is not really a light sleeper, but the rustles he heard from outside the room are a bit too much even for him that he could not bring himself to sleep again. He figures it might be Taekwoon or Sanghyuk, whoever kind and diligent enough to clean up this early in the morning. He is pretty sure Wonshik would never bother, and Jaehwan is a part of the mess being made in the first place so it would not make sense for him to suddenly tidy up now.

 

Hakyeon is done scrubbing and wiping things, so he moves to cook something. What he had to clear out already show what kind of food the children are eating lately, so he decides to make some home made food. Right after preparing the ingredients he hears sound of door being opened and closed, then water flowing, signaling someone is taking a bath. Hakyeon deduces that it is probably Taekwoon, excluding Sanghyuk’s and Jaehwan’s supposed schedule, and if Hongbin or Wonshik are the ones home, they most likely would not be awake already.

 

Hongbin finished with the shower, and with his mind cleared he could not ignore the clutters of things in his room, his conscious clean obsessed brain crying for help. As he concludes the person outside must be Taekwoon with the sounds made in the kitchen, tell tale signs of someone cooking which one hundred percent not Sanghyuk, he decides to tidy up first before Taekwoon will probably go to his room and ask him to do the same.

 

Hakyeon finished with the cooking, and he takes two plates for rice, and two glasses of water to the dining table.

Hongbin finished with the cleaning, and he puts on his shirt, turns off the light, then he opens the door.

Hakyeon turns his head to look with the sounds of door opening.

Hongbin looks at the person right away in front of his room.

Their eyes met, their heart beats, and the wind stops his breath.

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

Hakyeon has always been the most composed one on the group, so after few minutes of taking the appearance of person in front of him, he takes a deep breath, and walks to Hongbin.

“Bin-ah…”, Hongbin unintentionally takes a step back, resulted on Hakyeon stops uneasily in the middle of the room, hands fiddling in nervousness.

Another few minutes of silence before Hongbin is the one who inhales a long breath, then smiles.

“Oh hyung, when did you get home?”, it seemed pretending might be one of Hongbin’s strong suit.

Hakyeon could not get himself to return the smile, all the bells ringing indicated red lights on how it is so wrong in all directions.

Hongbin moves to the dining table, mask still on, hand ready to scoop dishes to his plate of rice. “Hyung, I will eat well~”, he said a second before he takes his first spoon.

Hakyeon turns around, scrutinized gaze unmasked in his face, disapproval called in his heart. He goes to sit on the chair facing Hongbin, decided it is best to accept the feigned indifferent behavior for now. For the meal. It is his first meal with Hongbin in a long while after all.

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

Breakfast finished in no time, elapsed with only voices of spoons and forks meeting the plates heard, it is as if the sound of ghosts being hungry, not two people having a meal together. Hongbin took it upon himself to do the dishes, brought Hakyeon’s plate without asking, Hakyeon didn’t question for he understands why. Hongbin just needs some time.

 

Honestly, their relationship has always been this way. Hakyeon is full of stories he wants to share, full of affection that sometimes he expresses beyond decent number of times people usually do in daily basis or without any personal space consideration. Hongbin is the calm one, full control of his emotions and thoughts, offering strength with his subtle actions or words of wisdom he mostly keeps to himself unless for people he trusts and really cares about.

They have been working perfectly well together, matched well with each other’s trait. Over the years, Hakyeon knows how to lessen his affection at least on public, and Hongbin learns how words of support sometimes needed to be said. But when Hakyeon doesn’t know what to say anymore, when Hongbin doesn’t know what he could do anymore, their world collapsed.

Today is the consequence of it. Here, in the silence of words of Hakyeon, and in the silence of actions of Hongbin.

 

A phone rings. Hakyeon’s. Hongbin walks to the living room, sits on the couch, and he puts his attention to the sky, out of the window. Hushed conversations occuring in the kitchen that Hongbin can not help but listen, although he could not make words out of the muffled voices. Laid-back position becomes jittery as the time goes, anxiety creeping up from his heart, his lungs stuffed.

Hakyeon emerges from the kitchen, steps approaching Hongbin, strained expression on his face.

“It was noona. She will send food to my apartment,…”, Hakyeon stops his sentence midway, forbidden word said unconsciously. Hongbin swallows hard, Hakyeon glances at him nervously.

“Ah, okay. Will you go there now?”, Hongbin replies as he puts an act on his face, but Hakyeon detects the edge on his voice. It starts to irk Hakyeon, the whole facade Hongbin is wearing.

Hakyeon folded his arms, eyes staring straight to Hongbin, any tenseness disappeared, displeased expression in exchange. “Lee Hongbin, are you going to be like this? Until when? Until I discharged? Until I moved back to the dorm?”

Hongbin’s temper changes at once, furious look to Hakyeon’s eyes. “Are you serious? I don’t know you are this foolish, Cha Hakyeon.”

“That’s hyung for you, Lee Hongbin.”

Hongbin trembles with anger. “Do I look like I give a damn care right now?”

Hakyeon frowns at the choice of word. “I do not appreciate a curse word if you want to have a conversation with me, Lee Hongbin.”

Hakyeon doesn’t back off from the glaring competition, criticizing expression in face matched with Hongbin’s enraged expression. A minute after, Hongbin is the first one to look away.

“I am sorry, hyung.”, Hakyeon gets a little taken aback by the difference on Hongbin’s voice. Hongbin looks so small now, with his head looks down and hands tight on his lap. On account of all the guilts he has from before, Hakyeon feels even more guilty now for raising his voice.

With time passed and no words Hakyeon utters at his long overdue apology, Hongbin is feeling even more ashamed. How could he dares to say sorry, he does not deserve it. Hongbin could feel his eyes getting ready to tear up, when Hakyeon draws closer, and hugs him tight.

 

 

A bird’s flying draws to a halt, the sun paused her movement, the clouds come to a standstill, crying sounds the only one heard in the breeze, distressed, continuously repressed emotions for months being let out.

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

Minutes slipped by, Hongbin drowns himself into Hakyeon’s warmth, Hakyeon’s comforting hands patting on his back.

“I am sorry, Hongbin-ah…”, Hakyeon’s low voice near Hongbin’s ears, as he is restraining his breath slowly.

Hongbin sniffles slightly. “I am the one at fault, hyung. I should have let you talk. I should have given you a chance. I shouldn’t have pushed you away…,”

“Hush.”, Hakyeon interrupted. “None of that would have to happen if I talked to you first. I should not have keeping it by myself and shocked you with the abrupt news.”

Hongbin is ready to counter but Hakyeon’s soft hands on his face stopped it.

“The only important thing right now is that I have you back, and that is all that matters, okay?”, Hakyeon said with tender smile. Hongbin replied back with his own, this time genuinely.

 

Hakyeon is here now. Hakyeon will be here tomorrow. Hakyeon will continue to be here for him, even though sometimes he does not deserve it. But for now, Hongbin will gratefully accept Hakyeon’s presence, he makes up his mind as he snuggled closer.

Hakyeon welcomes Hongbin wholeheartedly as he engulfs Hongbin’s body heat, feeling at ease, reassured that from now on, Hongbin will be there for him. Hongbin will stay right there, right at the same place. Even though he might not be able to always be there for Hongbin, Hongbin will stay, for him.

 

They remain close to each other for hours, fond smile and laughs full of happiness filling the air, even the rainbow outside the building is in awe of them.

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

 

Hongbin has been late to his streams recently. He used to be on time, tick tock to the seconds, an exact time of 6:30 pm. But Hongbin does not have to distract his mind on that time right now.

 

6:26.

_Hongbin-ah, they have banana milk for today’s dinner!_

_Don’t drink too fast hyung or you will spill it all over and embarrass yourself_

6:27.

6:28.

_Yah I would not!! I’m not a child, you know????_

_You know what I mean_

_Just. Be careful_

6:28.

6:30.

_Awww. I will binnie~_

_I will have chicken later for dinner_

6:31.

6:32.

_Oh right, shouldn’t you start the stream now??_

_I still have time until 6:59 pm~ kkk_

6:32.

6:33.

_Eat some salad too bin-ah! Don’t drink too much soda_

_Hyung why are you so fussy_

6:33.

6:35.

_If I am then you too since you also making a fuss about me eating a lot~_

_…_

_I’m not!!_

6.36

6.36.

_Kkkk yes yes~ but if you don’t…_

_Ugh fine I will ask Sanghyuk to buy it_

6:37.

6:38.

_Haha okay!!! Eat lots for your dinner bin-ah~_

_Yeah yeah_

6:38.

_Hakyeon hyung_

6:41.

_Take care of your body_

_You know! For byeolbits_

6:45.

6:47.

_^^ ^^ ^^ I will, don’t worry kkk go~_

_I’m not worried_

_And I already want to?_

6:48.

_Good night, Hakyeonie hyung_

6:52.

6.53.

_Good night, Hongbinnie :)_

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

 

Hakyeon and Hongbin hold their cups, serene smile in their face, the circle of bright blue and red-orange come together makes the gorgeous twilight blue, a color represents the sky, which wide as much as the feelings on their heart, their two heads looking up to it, basking in the beautiful light of the stars.

 

And I smile back at them, my heart filled with pleasure, finding consolation in knowing they will be in good place from this time on, and forward. That night, I shine the brightest, for them.

 

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

 

When the night comes, we fall.

Sometimes into loneliness.

Sometimes into uneasiness.

But sometimes,

 

When the night comes, we fall in love.

 

 

\---------- ooo ----------

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hi! If you read until the end, thank you so much ♡  
> This is my first contribution in writing vixx fanfic! Hopefully it is good enough. I will really appreciate your kudos and comments ♥
> 
> \+ May 2 is the first busking performance of Hakyeon with military band  
> \+ May 6 is when Hongbin made a new tgd post slight warning about the mood in the broadcast


End file.
